


Spike's Dream

by BistaUss



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Dreams, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-24
Updated: 2013-12-24
Packaged: 2018-01-05 20:15:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1098159
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BistaUss/pseuds/BistaUss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I'm drowning in footwear!" What was Spike dreaming about that made him say this? Here's what I came up with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Spike's Dream

**Author's Note:**

> As ever, Joss owns all and I own zilch.

Spike has a mission.

Buffy needs him at Payless Shoes because the First has a new evil plot involving stuffing everyone's shoes with peanut butter and jam. (Crunchy peanut butter, for that matter!) So he's come to help save the day!

He wanders through the aisles, looking for anything unusual afoot. There's Angel, brooding away in the tennis shoe area. Willow is making her new girlfriend levitate over the shelves, clearly taking a bird's eye view of the whole situation. Drusilla's twirling around the little girl section, muttering about fairies and star songs and all manner of things.  
But where is the First???

Spike sniffs at the air, trying to detect a hint of the PB&J aroma. If the First hopes to fulfill its evil plans, it'll have to get past him first! He sneaks past Xander, who's dressed as a pirate and brandishing a plastic hook on his hand, yelling about booty. Anya glides by, pulling Giles by the hand and singing about beady eyes and kisses better left unmentioned.

Suddenly, he hears a rumbling sound. Could it be the First? He follows his ears and makes it to the back of the store, where the aisles go on and on into infinity. In the distance he can just make out the form of Buffy. But is it Buffy, or is it just the First pretending?

Only one way to find out!

Spike launches himself through the air and glides toward the apparition to see if it's solid or not. But just before he can make it, the figure laughs and disappears. He crashes to the ground as the rumbling sound gets louder and louder. The shelves are falling on him! He tries to stand as mountains of trainers, stilletos, boots, moccasins, and pumps begin to rain down over him. Slowly but surely he's being buried. He stretches his hands upward, trying to pull above the waves of shoes. But it's hopeless! He tries to call out for help, hoping someone, somewhere, will hear his agonized cry!

"I'm drowning in footwear!"

***

Spike jerks upright in his cot and looks around at his surroundings.

"Weird dream."


End file.
